in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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