headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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