I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can't turn off my feet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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