if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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