You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
PANTIES FOUND
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