I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
