Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
im six kinds of drunk right now
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
