What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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