i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize