After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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