one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you would pick up someone in the library
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
