It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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