He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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