glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
