Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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