and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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