Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
