We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
