put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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