I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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