We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
