we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Randomize
