I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
