So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
