accomplished twins. life is a go
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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