so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
