I can text with my tongue
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
