I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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