I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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