I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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