You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
barbara walters just said penis...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
