I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
