dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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