I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
