you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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