God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
ttyl tear gas
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
