another moral hangover. fuck.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
