Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
