Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
