I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
