It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
