ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
