ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
