This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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