why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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