I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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