He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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