I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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