Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
