You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
