you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
