nut hugger
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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