i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize