Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she smelled like a LAN party
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
