i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
