Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
