My brain says no but my pants say off.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
