ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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