He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
