I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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