im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
