I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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