so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
