he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
