There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
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They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
This baby is an asshole
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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