Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize