its not stalking. its research.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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