who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
