oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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